One day as I was fighting back tears of inadequacy, she reached out to me with the best encouragement a friend could offer (especially one that was getting ready to add #5 to her brood):
"The Lord pours out an extra measure of grace with the third baby."
This was just what I needed to hear in response to my tearful, fearful thoughts..."What on earth would I do with a 3rd baby when I was so burnt out with 2?" "What if this baby girl screamed as much as #2?" "How would I get out of the house with 3 kids?" "How would I stay in the house with 3 kids?" "How will I break up fights between the 2 boys when I am nursing on the couch?" "How will I make breakofast, lunch, dinner while I am nursing?" "How will our marriage survive a 3rd baby?" "What were we thinking??"
Well, I started to pray for this extra measure of grace....I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to meet me where I was at. And I am so humbled at how God has answered those prayers in such sweet, tangible ways. I don't know how else to explain the {mostly} smooth transition to 3 kids. I don't know how else to explain the transformation in my boys. I don't know how else to explain the strengthening of our marriage in the midst of sleepless nights. Lord, forgive me for doubting your grace and thank you for meeting me where I am time and time again.
Here are just a few of these very tangible ways:
** Mason, who was unable to buckle himself in the 3rd row of the minivan, figured it out.
** After spending the entire month before baby fighting and screaming and not sharing, they miraculously discovered they can play TOGETHER and that they can be FRIENDS during the day.
** Mason and Levi can brush their own teeth, put on their pajamas and go to bed without me sitting in the chair in their room for an hour.
** Levi started zipping his own winter jacket.
** The boys can pick out mostly matching clothes and get dressed by themselves.
** They can both use the bathroom without help....including wiping.
** They are not jealous of Ava in the least....they love to love on her.
These things may seem like small things, but to a nursing momma of a new baby, these are HUGE milestones. And, I can't begin to tell you how suddenly these changes took place after Ava's arrival. And I can't begin to tell you how much these things have helped in the smooth transition to a family of 5. Of course, there are so many more ways God has met my needs: No post-partum depression, a laid back baby, a good nurser, a caring, helpful husband with a much easier work schedule, a supportive family and church family and the best friends on earth, meals for a month...I could go on and on and on.
It reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses for this season of life:
He tends his flock like a shepard:
He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart;
He gently leads those who have young.
Isaiah 40:11
I love the visual this produces in my mind's eye, snuggled in the safest place possible. I love the word 'gently' ... that is so what I need each hour of each day: gentle leading. And the very thought that the Master of the Universe is offering this to little old me. There are so many times when I try to rush ahead of this gentle leading or think that I can lead our family in my own strength with my own ideas. But when I step back, let Him gather me up and carry me close to His heart and submit to His gentle leading...what a difference.
And so, when a mom of 2 approached my kiddos and me at the zoo last week and asked, "Honestly, how is the transition to 3?", instead of going into a long drawn-out response about the ups and downs and such, I should have just replied, "Do you have Jesus? Because, honestly, I couldn't imagine how I would do it without Him."
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