07 March 2011

an extra measure of grace

This time around I had a pregnancy friend. A friend that grew her baby girl with me, a friend that offered encouragement, understood every stretch and ache and pain, shared every joyful kick, and was able to lament with me as our girlish figures swelled with baby glow.

One day as I was fighting back tears of inadequacy, she reached out to me with the best encouragement a friend could offer (especially one that was getting ready to add #5 to her brood):

"The Lord pours out an extra measure of grace with the third baby."

This was just what I needed to hear in response to my tearful, fearful thoughts..."What on earth would I do with a 3rd baby when I was so burnt out with 2?" "What if this baby girl screamed as much as #2?" "How would I get out of the house with 3 kids?" "How would I stay in the house with 3 kids?" "How will I break up fights between the 2 boys when I am nursing on the couch?" "How will I make breakofast, lunch, dinner while I am nursing?" "How will our marriage survive a 3rd baby?" "What were we thinking??"

Well, I started to pray for this extra measure of grace....I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to meet me where I was at. And I am so humbled at how God has answered those prayers in such sweet, tangible ways. I don't know how else to explain the {mostly} smooth transition to 3 kids. I don't know how else to explain the transformation in my boys. I don't know how else to explain the strengthening of our marriage in the midst of sleepless nights. Lord, forgive me for doubting your grace and thank you for meeting me where I am time and time again.

Here are just a few of these very tangible ways:

** Mason, who was unable to buckle himself in the 3rd row of the minivan, figured it out.

** After spending the entire month before baby fighting and screaming and not sharing, they miraculously discovered they can play TOGETHER and that they can be FRIENDS during the day.

** Mason and Levi can brush their own teeth, put on their pajamas and go to bed without me sitting in the chair in their room for an hour.

** Levi started zipping his own winter jacket.

** The boys can pick out mostly matching clothes and get dressed by themselves.

** They can both use the bathroom without help....including wiping.

** They are not jealous of Ava in the least....they love to love on her.

These things may seem like small things, but to a nursing momma of a new baby, these are HUGE milestones. And, I can't begin to tell you how suddenly these changes took place after Ava's arrival. And I can't begin to tell you how much these things have helped in the smooth transition to a family of 5. Of course, there are so many more ways God has met my needs: No post-partum depression, a laid back baby, a good nurser, a caring, helpful husband with a much easier work schedule, a supportive family and church family and the best friends on earth, meals for a month...I could go on and on and on.

It reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses for this season of life:

He tends his flock like a shepard:
He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart;
He gently leads those who have young.
Isaiah 40:11


I love the visual this produces in my mind's eye, snuggled in the safest place possible. I love the word 'gently' ... that is so what I need each hour of each day: gentle leading. And the very thought that the Master of the Universe is offering this to little old me. There are so many times when I try to rush ahead of this gentle leading or think that I can lead our family in my own strength with my own ideas. But when I step back, let Him gather me up and carry me close to His heart and submit to His gentle leading...what a difference.


And so, when a mom of 2 approached my kiddos and me at the zoo last week and asked, "Honestly, how is the transition to 3?", instead of going into a long drawn-out response about the ups and downs and such, I should have just replied, "Do you have Jesus? Because, honestly, I couldn't imagine how I would do it without Him."

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